There is no doubt that men and women communicate differently but of course for every generalization that can be made, we can all find someone who is an exception to the rule.  But what are these rules?

Basically, anthropologists have studied the ways in which people speak and here is an overview of some basic findings.  Let me start by saying that many studies are inconclusive in showing that men speak one way and that women speak another, but for simplicity, I will make two headings: Feminine Speech and Masculine Speech.

In Feminine Speech, there is a higher frequency of honorific devices such as Mr., Sir, Please, Pardon, etc.

In Masculine Speech, using first names, last names, or nicknames are more frequent such as “Hi John, Good morning Hatcher, or Hey Smitty.”

In Feminine Speech, there is a higher frequency of softening devices such as kind of, sort of, a bit, etc.

In Masculine Speech, there is more directness.  “That is red.  We have a problem”

In Feminine Speech, more sentence patterns end with a rising inflection. “Do I use this next?”

In Masculine Speech, more sentence patterns end with falling inflection. “Use this next.”

Here is an example:

Woman: “Hello Mr. Smith, do you have a minute? It’s kind of important.  It seems that we might have a bit of a problem.  Mr. Lee called me earlier and he was a little concerned.  Do you think you can call him back?  I think we should give him an extension, don’t you think so?

Man: “Hey Tony, come here for a minute.  Mr Lee called when you were out and he’s unhappy with your service.  Give him a call and tell you what; if he is still upset, give him an extension.

Of course, both men and women can talk in these ways.  Sometimes the way people communicate changes because of social class, authority level, and comfort level but interestingly these patterns are often called Feminine Speech patterns.